My Goal Accomplished {The Moment I'm Dead}

[Moony~!]

Her tail flying about wildly behind her Fern leapt over a log with much more enthusiasm she’d had in ages. Rested on her muzzle was a smug smile, a well deserved one at that. As she padded aimlessly about the Horizonclan territory she felt very accomplished. Soon she would be a warrior, and maybe possible even get a companion. The smug smile faded into a dreamy look as she stopped moving forward and stared at the sky, her eyes gleaming like stars. Thoughts raced through her head. Even thinking about having a companion sent chills of pleasure up her spine. Me? Have a companion? Never. She repeated over and over again. She didn’t want to be let down when the time came when she knew if she would get one or not.

Humming, or something close to it, a song that just popped in her head, she padded even deeper into the forest territory. She didn’t look exactly like she had expected that she would look on the day she became an official clancat. She looks rather dirty, and the gleam to her fur was gone. Though it looked far better and less shabby than it had looked when she was with the ‘RRG’ it wasn’t what the clancats had looked before. Perhaps it was due to the weather, but still. A whole clan like this should be able to manage at least a few scraps in the fresh kill pile. She hadn’t eaten for the past two days, trying to look slim for her ceremony, but as her stomach gave a low growl it reminded her of how hungry she was.

She felt as if she had a hole in her stomach, like claws were raking through her insides. It hurt to walk, to jump, let alone move fast enough to catch any prey. But she was determined. She needed to have energy today. She narrowed her deep blue eyes trying to focus on hearing or scenting prey. Nothing, nothing at all. This was just rediculous. Taking in a deep breath she let out a sigh that she’d been waiting to let out for a long, long time. She could say almost anything freely now, she didn’t have to fear instant death if she took one pawstep out of line. She was free from the ‘RRG’ yet, she was disappointed. Was it because she didn’t know what it meant to TRULY be part of a clan? Her goal had been to become a part of the clan, to join and be like the loyalist of the loyal. She was on her way there, she could feel she was near the end of the path that she kept following. But something was blocking her way, something was keeping her. A wall? Perhaps. Or maybe…

A silence suddenly stilled the forest, all that she could detect was the faint rustle of leaves in the chilly wind. Not that it was much different from before, the small changes seemed as big as could be. The faint and rare but present bird calling had disappeared, leaving cold static in the air. The earlier aura of a bright and shining winter day vanished, and though the thought of it being winter already was scary, the aura that replaced it was even more gruesome and fear bringing. All the sunshine seemed to disappear, and all lights of hope ran away from the darkness. Evil was coming. She could feel it. There was a rustle in the bush in front of her. Don’t worry, it’s just a rabbit or something. She told herself, but the odds were against that excuse, she hadn’t seen any prey the whole time she’d been out. Then it’s the wind! She thought frantically, making up any excuse that came to mind.

Once again her common sense rebuked her fearfully, the trees were too thick for the wind to possibly make such an unnatural rustle as that. She took a step back, her eyes wide with fear. She couldn’t believe she hadn’t seen this coming. She should’ve expected them to come. Then there was a rustle behind her, she whipped around and froze as she came face to face with the ugliest thing she’d ever seen. She cowered with fear as it towered over her, all the while she was whimpering. “Please Carcus, please oh please… leave me alone, have mercy…” Her blue eyes were dotted with tears at it proceeded toward her letting out a cold and shrill laugh before meowing.

“This is it Fern.” It’s eyes gleamed with hatred, “To tell you the truth. I never even liked you. It’ll be good to see you gone.” It paused, “And even better because I get to do the honors.” Then, prowling toward her, a smug smile took form. She tried to yowl for help, but there seemed to be something caught in her throat. She could hear it unsheating it’s claws and she closed her eyes in fear. Not daring to look at the cat, no she was right before, it wasn’t a cat it was a thing, that was going to kill her. She waited and waited and waited until she heard it say. “Pity you see? That you’ll die before Red dies. And I was sooooo hoping to kill him before your eyes.”

At that moment Fern stopped breathing, opened her eyes and stared at Carcus. Red… she had completely forgotten about him… and with that thought she felt excruciating pain and the yowl that had been building up inside her was released echoing throughout the forest, that yowl was the last thing she heard until everything went black. She’d fainted.

[ADMIN~!]

Reaching out
Can you hear me?
I said I’m reaching out
But no one's near me.

It isn’t what it seems. It’s not what it seems. Over and over again Flamepaw thought those words as he soundlessly padded through a particularly bare part of the forest, a usual grey expression clouding his face. The ginger-pelted apprentice was supposed to be out with his mentor, but more often than not, he escaped to hunt on his own. The hunts however, rarely turned out that way as he usually just fell into deep, depressive thoughts of mulling over the sickness of his twin. For a moon now the gentle, but sassy she-cat had been confined to the Medicine Den, weak and at the best, hardly responsive. It was horrible seeing her that way, but even worse, not seeing her. Nightstorm and Giliapaw didn’t like allowing visitors in fear of the sickness spreading, but he had sat with her at least a few times. An angry Medicine Cat couldn’t keep him away.

The sickness was strange though, temperamental even. There would be days when Pumpkinkit would be sitting up and fairly alert. She sometimes even spoke, especially on the ones when he was there. However, on others, she would be at the worst like the initial day she fell ill, coughing and yowling in a paralysed pain. The small white moth that usually provided her comfort had been missing since then too, though warriors had searched. As if she wasn’t in enough anguish, Flamepaw thought angrily, flicking his tail at a fern he passed by. His own Companion had been acting a bit different too, flying further than ever and quite commonly in silence. The latter was weird in itself without the far distances, as the butterfly usually didn’t shut up, but it was more than just a silence. It was almost as if he was listening to something far off that even the tom’s keen hearing could catch.

Dejectedly, Flamepaw raised his head to glance around and his already cloudy face deepened even more when he didn’t see his red butterfly nearby. He couldn’t sense him either, a feeling that had only recently been cut off. Even since birth it had felt like there was a thread connecting the two that provided limited insight into what the other was thinking, but it was suddenly like there was a wall in the way. He knew the connection was still there, but yet it wasn’t… something, natural or supernatural, was blocking it and Flamepaw felt as thought a part of him had died. Along with the other part where Pumpkinkit usually lay.

With a pang, Flamepaw recalled his apprentice ceremony from just a few days ago, a day he had dreamed and imagined countless time, but each vision with Pumpkinkit standing beside him. Only in his nightmares was she not there, yet somehow when the actual day arrived, it had not been his dreams that prevailed, but rather the opposite. Standing before the clan, waiting to find out who his mentor would be had felt as though StarClan turned their backs on him. Pumpkinkit, the one he shared all his adventures with, had not been with him at the start of his biggest adventure yet, and all the ceremony had felt like a failure.

As a newly-made apprentice, Flamepaw technically wasn’t allowed to be out of the camp by himself, especially with how far he was, but given his state of mind he didn’t really care. The tom enjoyed his bouts of freedom that let him mope in peace. The silence of the forest was calming and lonely, though the loneliness was welcome for him. So far he had not been told off and he hoped it stayed that way, despite that he had most likely not been noticed quite yet. After all, he was still pretty much a kit, and his mother was now an elder. She didn’t send warriors after him anymore.

Even with his like of the silence, today seemed a little different. As the ginger tom padded through the trees rather slowly, he actually couldn’t hear the usual background noise. Instead it was a deafening stillness as if the forest had died, leaving him as the only live creature left to wander. His Companion was gone, the song of the birds, the rustling of leaves, the scurry of prey; everything had disappeared, leaving Flamepaw utterly alone. Fear constricted his fragile heart and the apprentice, suddenly quite present in reality and not thoughts, looked around wildly for a sign of life. Then, a small scuffling and a whisper of words dripping with fear. Relieved to hear something, he hurried towards the sound, but slowed to a halt as he spotted Fern and another cat. He didn’t recognize the ugly tom, but by the looks of things, Fern did and she wasn’t happy to see him. He stared at the scene with bewildered eyes, glued to the spot.

“Fern!” He cried, snapping out of his reverie and dashing towards her. His movements were too slow however as the other cat got hold of the new HorizonClan member first, hitting her head cruelly with his claws and she screamed with pain. The yowl, a screeching sound that cut through his entire soul, made the apprentice visibly flinch and he skittered to the side with sudden terror. He watched as she fell, even as he kept running towards her, and her body fell with an dull thunk. Complete dead weight. She was either gone with her spirit soaring towards StarClan or the rogue had knocked her unconscious; either way, both options weren’t appealing to the tiny apprentice.

Skidding to a stop beside her body, Flamepaw faced the rogue with more bravery in his stance than he truly felt. The tom was huge in comparison, and the feral snarl on his face was a clear reminder to Flamepaw that he was just a new apprentice. The other was a long-lived adult of brutality and malice, not necessarily trained for battle, but certainly knowing how to fight. All the small tom had was his instincts and those were no match for the other. Trembling, but fighting had not to show it, Flamepaw snarled to Carcus, anger and disgust transfiguring his face into a terrible expression. “Get out of here before I flay you.”

[Moony~!]

Carcus stood frozen, his smug smile not gone, and the silence reborn. The few tufts of fur he had were sleak and smooth, not even a hint showed that they would puff up in fear or hostility. He knew that this kit could do nothing to him. Absolutely nothing. His bald ears were perked with amusement as he whipped around to stare Flamepaw straight in the eyes. "Flay me? You think you can flay me?" Carcus snarled. "Me? The deputy of the Rouges!(Pwease? *puppy dog eyes*) The deputy of the group of cats lead by the almighty sky? One of the mightiest subordinants?"

He didn't seem to bother to care what Flamepaw said because then he turned to Fern, a much less than satisfied look on his face. He had drawn barely any blood. He narrowed his eyes in hate, he was sure he'd gone easy on her. She couldn't have died from a blow like that. Not one of his past fellow 'RRG' members. She was too tough to die from that, and he knew that she hoped he wouldn't notice the truth. She wasn't dead yet, nor would she die from that blow.

He stared at her silently for what seemed like ages then drew in a deep breath. Crackling evily he raised his paw and slashed her across the stomach, creating a large wound and drawing much blood. The limp body of the past mostly white she-cat gave a jolt, now stained with the red of blood. By the time Carcus stopped slashing her, she was nearly torn to pieces. His eyes were wide and were twitching with this insane tint to them. He didn’t know what it was from, but he wanted to kill more… he needed to kill more. He turned to the smaller cat, a twisted smile carved into his face. He took a step toward Flamepaw but instantly retreated as he heard a weak, very weak moan from Fern. She was still alive, but she would die. He needn’t be here any longer. Smiling mischevously at Flamepaw he cast one last glance at Fern then disappeared into the bushes.

Once again there was complete silence, but the evil aura finally faded and Fern, at least what was left of her, made an unintelligible sound, something like a grunt. Then, she fell silent again. What seemed like ages went by before she mustered up all her strength and muttered. “He-“ She gasped for air, “gone… ?” As she moved her jaw and tounge to say these words, seering pain went through her body, and the quickly receeding strength that she had left only quickened it’s pace. Not waiting for an answer, she went on. She needed to say this. She knew she was going to die anyway. Opening her mouth to speak once again, blood same out instead of words, she knew she didn’t have much time left. Not even able to breath she opened her eyes into barely open slits and coughed out. “The- others- are- coming….” Her body gave one last shudder and she couldn’t move anymore, it was as if she didn’t have a body. It was over… so this is what it felt like. To die.

Though, with all the ease in the world she closed her eyes and smiled. She felt strangely good, as if a long lost dream had been fulfilled. She lay there for a few moments, struggling to hang onto reality, trying to figure out what this dream was. Then it hit her, and her smiled widened into deep pleasure. She had done it, she had become a true member of the clan. She had been willing to die for it, she /had/ died for it. She felt no resentment or regrets. Then her now fairly broad smile faded into a restful peaceful dreamy smile as she finished her life with closing thoughts that made her mind laugh in it’s tingly laugh. My goal accomplished, the moment I’m dead. Finally she let go of reality, and her mind closed. Only reopening again to find herself slowly ascending to the stars. Unfamiliar, yet strangely familiar in their own magestic way, cats waiting to welcome her with open hearts. This… was starclan.